You're behind on the development status. Starship reached an altitude that would have allowed it to orbit several times but would also force it into reentry in case of a failure that would prevent it from initiating its own reentry. That was a safety measure, not a failure.
Flight 3 demonstrated propellant transfer between two the header tanks to its main fuel tanks, and Flight 6 (the last one) demonstrated a cold relight in space. Flights 9 and 10 are expected to demonstrate fuel transfer between two Starships in orbit.
Saturn went without blowing up rockets because it used an entirely different design philosophy. Had any of those exploded, it would have been a massive financial loss and a long time to catch back up. SpaceX has built something close to two dozen Starship prototypes and more than a dozen others were partially built before being scrapped because they were obsolete; S34 will be used in the upcoming Flight 7. More than a dozen boosters have been built, with Booster 15 to be used for Flight 7 and boosters B16 and B17 under construction. And don't forget the booster recovery on Flight 5. I still have trouble believing that worked.
The current stated payload capacity to LEO is over 100 tons. We haven't seen any real payload attempts, though that is apparently coming on the next flight, with mass simulators totaling around 20 tons to be ejected to test Starlink satellite deployment. That's supposed to be a fraction of its actual capability. Elon claims that coming upgrades will allow up to 300 tons in a fully expendable configuration, but I have my doubts. Regardless, 150 tons, or even a bit higher, doesn't seem unrealistic. Falcon Heavy doesn't fly that often because Falcon 9's upgrades got it to the point where it can carry double the original version, moving payloads originally planned for FH into the F9's range.
As for funding, some money comes from the government, yes, but much less per launch of the F9 than came from missions on Atlas or Delta variants, and less than Vulcan or New Glenn is projected to cost. F9 is profitable on its own, and SpaceX is also getting a ton of money from Starlink subscribers, with more than four million worldwide. That's somewhere between $300 million and $500 million per month, and while I'm sure a chunk of that goes to capital costs for the satellites and launches, it's also probably a lot left over for SpaceX to use on other projects. Observers have suggested the cost per complete Starship and Booster is somewhere around $200 million, so they may be able to build a new one just off of Starlink subscriptions every couple of months.
I get the pushback against Elon, but SpaceX is not just Elon. And while they're not hitting all the milestones on Elon's schedule, they're doing things that a decade ago were declared impossible by a lot of people. They put 1500 tons of payload into orbit over 134 missions in 2024 alone, launching more often than any other country. They longest they went between launches was something like five or six days, and they were frequently launching every other day, if not faster. We're a week into 2025 and they've already launched Falcon 9 twice with four more scheduled in the next week alone. (And if you're focusing on not hitting HLS milestones specifically, while I don't have clear info on that, SLS isn't hitting its milestones, either, and virtually no one believes that the Artemis III lunar landing will happen in 2027, even if Starship's lander is ready.)
Meanwhile, Blue Origin is over there doing it mostly the old way, and they're hoping to get their first orbital rocket launch tomorrow and hope to fly up to eight missions per year over the next few years, comparable to what ULA is hoping to do with Vulcan. The scale just isn't the same.